That chilly feeling.

I'm submitting my portfolio for Tafe Sa tomorrow. A Game Art course. I hope I've done enough to get in, because I'm honestly not sure what I'm going to do if I don't. I've been using CS3 for 3 years, and animation for 2. I've done everything from photoshopping to 3D-modelling. I am at least competent, if not simply good. But this is a new frontier for me. And I don't know who I'll be judged against, the what is expected of me. No number of pamphlets can prepare me. That's the chilly feeling. The feeling of the unknown, not able to hazard any guesses as to my success.
I think I'll probably remain a little nervous until I know whether or not I got in. You can bet when that envelope turns up, I won't quite be able to open it. Not for a long time. Failure would burn. That's all. Not just because I'd have to get a full time job, and go another year without doing anything. It's because I wasn't quite, quite, good enough.

But you know I'll try again next year. And the year after that. I can't help it. I don't want to give up. I've given up on things in the past. Past-times and subjects and teachers and music and sometimes people. I don't especially care about those things. I do rather care about this. And I'll make it in the end, with or without this course.


But I'd prefer the help.

Why do I have a blog? Seriously, though? (That will not be the topic of this post.)

Maddie's gone.


...


Okay, that sounded really bad. Actually, she's gone to her grandparents for a week, and I'm without any way of communicating with her. And for the first time in almost a year, I am once again... totally alone. I know. I'm an emo bitch.
But let's get one thing straight. I can't concentrate without her. I won't concentrate without her. I'm reliant on videogames to get through the day. I mean, what the fuck? How does something like that-

I just got a text from her. One second. (This is some real-time shit.)

"Love you, babe."

Now, may I just say...

AAAAAWWW-Yeah, I'm totally fucked.

Okay, so this is supposed to be about me, not her.

See, I'm about to find out what kind of person I am. An ex maybe-or-may-not be in some emotional turmoil, and now I'm having to question my own relationship with her (not a good one) and wondering whether, now she may (MAY) be experiencing some pains I'd find strangely familiar, is it time to forgive and forget? Or just an opportunity for an "I told you so" and another twist of the knife (which, by the way, is something I have yet to try my hand at, despite my feelings towards her.)

So, where do I go from here? Well, no doubt circumstances will push us together (geographically) sooner or later, and when the time comes, I'm going to have to make a decision I can be proud of. Because she's too close to this and, frankly, so is Maddie. I am the only person who can make this desicion.


(HELP!)



Remember when I said this would be about me? Yeah?

Fuck you, internet. (Have a nice day.)

Blurgh.

Money.

Money is hard.

Now, I'd like to have some money. But unfortunately, I'm unemployed. I've always been unemployed. And unless I manage to get a full time job by December (that's apparently something like 30+ hours) I might stay unemployed for a while. Do bear in mine I have never had a job.
Now. Who's craaaazy desicions are these? My parents. Surprise, surprise. You see, they've always had a problem with where I'm going in life. It's mainly my mother, I think. She's worried I lack both proper direction, and a quick enough movement in that direction. And my father is worried that my mother is worried.
I guess what I'm trying to say... is that you're not really sure where I'm going with this. Dot point? Dot points.

My options are as follows.

1. Go to TAFE next year, at 16, to study game development. (Not a TERRIBLE idea, as ideas go. But I'll be far younger than I wanted to be, and if I apply and get in, I can't defer.)
2. Find full-time employment. (I suppose I could do this too, but it wouldn't be any fun. In fact, it'd be a massive bitch, and finding this employment would be more than a little harzadous.)
3. Tell my parents to go fuck themselves, and do what I wanted to do. (Not going to happen. Not because I wouldn't do it. I would so do it. Simply because it won't have any effect. It would simply bounce off them, and I'd be left with option one and two. But... if it did work... if I could do what I wanted...

Then I'd spend half my time building steampunk weapons (mainly nerf's, because I want to finished them properly) but also any revolvers, rifles, shotguns, chainguns, knives, designer swords, harpoon guns, and any combination thereof. Plus maybe some nice overcoat. MOVING ON...
I'd get a job doing the plot, music and character design for Aidan Snoswell's videogames. We'd start a company, sell it for a fuckload (something like $3,ooo,ooo) and then, and ONLY then, would I go to TAFE.
Plus, I'd get a job as a barrista or something. Whatever.

I suppose it all depends on how this year turns out.

As my girlfriend puts it,



"Boo freaking hoo"

So, now I'm back again. I know I never do this, but I think I've neglected this blog for long enough.

Obvious stuff out of the way first. I love Maddie even more than the last time I wrote here, and she's gone a very, very long way to fixing me. I'm not sure where I'd be without her, but I imagine that in my attempts to escape the nature of my life, I'd have either succumbed to what, for the purposes of this argument, I will call 'ignorance', or I would have become homicidal. And I'd prefer to end my life in the same way as the last Thomas Hamilton. (That guy has an awful lot to answer for.)
He is (here's an interesting little note about me) probably the major reason I won't became and Arms Manufacturer/Dealer. I'm sure I could talk away all my little doubts about ethics and the nature of morality and pacifism; and I certainly seem to have both the skills, and the imagination, but I just don't want to design the firearm used in the next 'largest killing of British schoolchildren in history'. It doesn't matter if someone else does it instead of me. It won't be my bloody gun that does it.
Thus... career in videogames. Hopefully. I managed to get my hands on the Satac guides today, and the course I want to do at TAFE is right there. No SACE certificate needed. (Not that there's anyway I'm not going to get it.) But I need a portfolio. Which could take a few years.
I've been told I should look at university courses, and apply for a whole bunch of them, in case I don't get into TAFE, but... I know I'm not getting into TAFE next year. I don't want to. I'm unemployed, broke, and sixteen. I'm going to be spending the next year developing the portfolio I need anyway, and I don't think that applying for a series of university courses there is no way on earth I will actually take is a great idea. Actually, I think it's a huge, fucking waste of time, but there you go.
I think I'm glad I waited so long to post here again, actually. I know only one person will get notified about this. Hello, mysterious follower! I don't know who you are, but you if you decided to follow this blog, you're either incredibly nice, or maddeningly angry. Either way, I suppose you must be confused about some of the posts I've been placing up. And how they tend to... vary... in tone, topic, and coherence. I'm sure there's an explanation for that. Maybe if I find it, I'll tell you.
I suppose some other people might see this, but I can't see it happening. Maddie would probably look, but I don't think she'll remember I have a blog. No-one ever does. They did at one point, but that freaked me out to the point where I started to stare, shocked, at people when they told me they'd not only read it, but bookmarked it, in case they had the urge to return.

Now, I think, I'm ready to progress to something I'm just begining to realise. Life isn't hard. But it gives you a bitch of a headache.


More to come. As ever.

PPPPPFFFFffftttt.....

Okay.

Isn't it funny how, even after you die, you're still on the database? You can be six feet under, and you'll still get junkmail.

No, I don't know why I brought that up.

I just feel I ought to say something.

The first of my two exams is tommorrow. The second the next day. And I did study, a bit, but... I also played quite a lot of Pheonix Wright. Go figure.

New girlfriend is still much nicer.

Flu

This is the third day I've spent at home by myself. And while I enjoy the company, I am beginning to go slightly stir-crazy. The idea that I could be in here for the rest of the week is not something I look forward too, and I hope I'm better by tommorrow. Especially because sickness seems to be a cause for punishment, and my sister doesn't seem to want give up her looks of abject disgust.
"What's that? You spent all day in a tiny, stinking room with nothing to pass the time? You haven't been outside since sunday? Yeah, well, you didn't have to go to school." Honestly.

I have another girlfriend, by the way. A much nicer one, this time.

Application Study

Done.

Animation Investigation?

Done.

I'm working my way through my on-going assessments. I started shock-advertising today. Brilliant.

That will be all.

link

Sad loser

The universe is weird, sometimes.

The happiest, most content people I've ever seen are also the hugest geeks.



Isn't that strange? The very words 'sad' and 'loser' seem almost synonymous. And yet when you see... oh, how I refer to them... GEEKS, they always seem to be having the best time. You know. Those nerds that hang out under the stairs, playing Yu-Gi-Oh. Every time you see those poor lost souls in town. (They're almost Goths, but... massive, massive nerds. I'm embarrassed for them.) You need to really watch their faces to see how happy they are. Maybe ignorance is bliss.


But it really hit home when Adam and I were editing our documentary today. It's on Steampunk, and I'm watching the faces of the head-butler and the Sky-ship Captain, and... these men were all nerds, once. And now they're happy. And I'm exactly like them, in every way.



I have been tragically sad. I have lost so much.

And there is no doubt I'm a hardcore loser.

But perhaps... never both at the same time? Eh?

Rusty

Ellie's cat died. And, for some reason, I am taking it incredibly badly. I'm not sure I'll ever explain to her just how badly I'm taking it.
This is why I couldn't 'party-down' with my only two watchers.
Look! There they are! >>>>>>

Sorry guys. I just wasn't in the mood. This... this is like my Gleunga face. Does that make sense?
We will party down in a weeks time, okay fanboys? Members of the Thomas Hamilton Fanclub? Alright.


I know I haven't posted in a while. I had a lot of shit to get through. I still do. And I STILL HAVE HOMEWORK!!!!!! ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

That reminds me. Guys, look up 'Yves Klien Blue' on Youtube. Tell me what you think.

Investigation Part 1

PC games are losing the interest of mainstream gamers, with major stores sidelining their PC games, in favour of console–exclusive titles. Certain electronics shops, such as EB Games, are now phasing out PC games and placing their entire PC inventory on sale for discounted prices. Chain-stores, such as K-Mart or Target, have dropped their areas devoted to PC games from large, two section isles, to 5 ft shelves with only 15-20 titles. Stores devoted entirely to PC gaming are also on the decline, with stores either removing their PC Software inventory, marking down their prices, or simply going out of business. On the 26^th of February, PC retailer GAME closed down 43 of its UK stores, with 247 members of staff losing their jobs, and American electronics retailer CompUSA had their holiday revenue half from 2005 to 2006, store-restocking shipments are not being scheduled past February, forcing them to liquidate their remaining 103 stores. After closing 20% of its stores in the autumn of 2008, electronics chain Circuit City hired four liquidators in early 2009, in order to sell the inventory of its remaining 567 American stores. It was reported that Circuit City lost its market share as a result of chain-stores like Wal-Mart (which exclusively sell console games) undercutting their prices.

As the graph above shows, sales of console games have nearly doubled over the last ten years, with the introduction of the Playstation 2 and 3, the Nintendo GameCube and the Wii, as well as the introduction of higher-powered handheld consoles, including the Nintendo DS and the Sony PSP. Microsoft, eager to keep up with their competition, released the Xbox in 2001 and the Xbox 360 in 2005.

Clever marketing on the part of Nintendo has also opened up the gaming demographic to the public. When the Nintendo DS was released in 2004, one of the first game slated for release was Nintendogs, a game involving the raising and care of a virtual puppy, and a game far outside the current (at the time) demographic for video-games. In the first week of its release in Japan (April 18 to April 24), its sales totalled over 168,000 units. This title game also boosted the Nintendo DS system sales by over 4.2 times the previous week to 95,000 units, up from 22,000.Nintendogs also had very successful launches in North America and Europe, with first week sales of over 250,000 and 160,000 respectively, making it the fastest selling Nintendo DS game in both regions to date.

‘Dr Kawashima's Brain Training: How Old Is Your Brain?’ (known as ‘Brain Age: Train Your Brain in Minutes a Day!’ outside PAL regions) is another Nintendo title that’s worked hard to pull gaming into the mainstream. Marketed at middle-aged to elderly men and women, the game has sold over 20 million units worldwide, and spawned a number of sequels.

Walk Cycle (Again)

'nother shot.

Walk Cycle

Video doesn't work. I'll fix it later.





SIX DAYS WITHOUT A BLOG POST!

HOORAY!

This is something I did in Animation and Games Development. I think it's terrible, but it seems to be getting me marks, and I did it in ten minutes, including the music, so I'm kind of proud of it.

This is the eyeball character that's going to be in my video-game. I'd get right on finishing it, but I have a 2000 word essay-draft due on thursday. Excellent.

I read The Crow today. It's changed my outlook on life. And also, anyone who'd read Jthm and thinks it's the best, can get fucked. FUCKED. I loved it, but it does not, and cannot, hold a candle to The Crow.


Best thing to come out of the 80's.

Telling a story more than once.

I hate it. So if you read something, even a little, leave a comment please. Especially you, Darcy, because you tend to wait until I'm halfway through something to tell me you've heard it already.

I have an essay to finish.

We just went to film, to begin with, but the guy we wanted to film wasn't ready and we ended up just getting a whole series of shots of both the building and the steampunk stuff they has set up inside. I'm not sure if you've seen the Carclew building from inside the grounds, but it's incredible. I'm almost angry about how good that building looks. It is a sexy building. It's almost like when you see a girl walking down the street, and her whole face just kind of... works together, as a team, to make her look her best, and you're left thinking 'How the hell is that fair?'

Moving on.

So we got a couple of interviews, one with Steve, one with Christian, and one with Queen Victoria, the longest reining British monarch of all time (she was lovely,) and spent at least two hours staring at the armoury, which included several ray-guns, a tommy-gun, a crossbow with a bayonet and a minigun the size of my own head, before walking outside to discover Andy.

Now, in each and every interview we'd done, we'd asked questions about how heavily tonight's event would involve literary and historical characters, and every single time, the interviewee would say 'Oh, we've got Sherlock Holmes, Queen Victoria... Nicola Tesla...'

They gave the part to Andy. He didn't even bring any direct-energy weapons with him, for which I berated him heavily, because why else would he be there? For his Serbian accent? I don't think so.

Ari and Aidan turned up a few minutes later, and it seems Aidan had taken it upon himself to make a whole series of brass gears, which both he and Ari were wearing more or less everywhere. Ari, can I just say, had outdone herself in terms of costuming. She was wearing pieces of clothing I don't even have names for. 's very cool.

Adam and I could only stay if we were wearing proper clothing that fitted with the costumes being worn, and while Adam was wearing a nice shirt and suit pants, I was wearing torn jeans, ripped shoes and my checked Anarchist shirt, so I had to spend half an hour standing out on the street waiting for my parents to arrive with my suit, which I had to try and put on in a public toilet WHILE NOT LETTING ANY PART OF IT TOUCH EITHER THE WALLS OR THE FLOOR. I deserve a bloody medal...

Once this suit was on, I had to try and stick one of Aidan's brass gears onto my tie, so I went the green room to try and find a tie-pin. (Look, let's get this straight. I know a lot about suits, okay? So if I use some words you don't understand... get stuffed. That said, you should all be able to work out what a tie-pin does.) There wasn't a tie-pin, so the NATIONAL PRESIDENT OF THE COSTUMERS' GUILD sewed it on for me. She was talking to Queen Victoria. It was all a little weird. The night continued.

Now, the bit where we got attacked by Space Pirates was the best. Mainly because one of the butlers shouted 'My god! Everyone with weapons, please form a blockade in front of this door!' He looked a little surprised when over half the people there pulled out rayguns and moved in front of the door. I didn't even see the pirates for all the tophats in the way.

Plus, there was a brain in a jar, so everything was awesome.

There were a couple of problems, though. First off, you can't talk to anyone, because they all have to stay in character. I spent half the night referring to Andy as 'Mr Tesla'. Every time you want to talk to a girl, you have to kiss their hand. It gets old after a while.
As well as that, no-one could understand that I wasn't actually... 'there' so people... well, nerds, kept trying to talk to me in ridiculous accents. Eventually, I'd have to go 'I'm not in character' and they'd look very sheepish and scurry away. This happened, like, six times.

Eventually, we just went home. But it was awesome, and the maids were friendly. I don't mean that in a dirty way, I just mean they were funny and they gave me scones. I'd go next year.

Steampunk.

I love steampunk. I'll probably say more after I've managed to get this brass cog off my tie.

Maiden Voyage Of The Olympia

This is ridiculous. After all this time wondering when our guys (I call them nerds, but I should probably stop it...) were going to get back to us, and then Adam gets a call saying they want us there TOMMOROW!

Took some quick work, but everything's going according to plan...

Don't you love Steampunk? Wicked...

Please, God, don't let anyone I know be there. Especially not... yeah...

I suppose I should do something for them, as they've been so nice...


Here's their site.

Just in case I bleed to death...

I never realised how well it can spread, but there's a tiny, tiny cut on my arm, and there's blood everywhere. It's all over my desk and papers, all over these tissues. It's like ink. And the cut is barely visible.
That's not hemophalia, is it? It doesn't seem to be clotting. I'm trying not to get it on my laptop, but it's getting to be too much. I've used almost a whole box of 'manly' tissues, and nothing's happened.
So if I don't make it, I always knew everything, everywhere, all the time.

And Immy, I will haunt your ass for fucking forever.

The Geek shall inherit the earth.

And his name is Thomas, and he is me, and I shall inherit the earth.

People sometimes ask me 'Thomas, what's the difference between a Christian and a Catholic?' And I say 'Well I'm a Catholic called Thomas and, as such, I can believe whatever the hell I like, because no Catholics older than forty think any Catholic called Thomas is anything but a doubter. Which is funny, because I am a doubter. (Well, someone has to play Devil's Advocate. What's everyone got against that guy?) Whereas those other Christians, they'll believe any old bollocks! (Love you, Kels, honey, now let me keep the skin on my knuckles, yeah?) Especially those Baptists! They're nutters! (Knuckles, Kels.) And those crazy Lutherans! What's with that?' At that point, someone will have punched me, and I won't have to go on.

Actually, what I said about the devil isn't true. I fucking hate that guy, because he's evil. That's kind of his, you know, thing. His raison d'etre. Why would you follow that guy? What's wrong with you, Satanists? HE'S NOT GOING TO HELP YOU, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ON HIS SIDE! HE'S THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS, DON'T TRUST HIM!!!!

Not that Christians are much better. Especially Catholics. Never mind the fact I'm supposed to be a homophobe, never mind the fact I can't use condoms or have sex before marriage, I'm supposed to hate Wiccans as well? I'd love to quiz the Pope on Wicca, see how much he knows, because I bet he knows less than he's letting on.I mean, not every religion involving a horned god is devil-worship! What is wrong with you people?

Nothing to say about Buddhism. I'd be a Buddhist, except... I'd only be doing it because I read Monkey - Journey To The West, which is a bit patronising. Plus, I'd feel compelled to be less violent, and we can't have that.

All of this is more or less academic anyway, because by this point, you'll all have stopped reading.

Can't think of anything.

I've got an MP3-Player now, so today was insane. I just listened to songs I hadn't heard in a long time, as loud as a could, all day.
Erm... there must be something else...

Oh, yes. Today's Kelsey-related joke is the fact that she's madly in love with me. Yesterday's was her twins. With whom she was pregnant. Friday, she was on drugs. Kelsey, you're a terrible mother!! How can you abuse your children like that?

Lastly, we're all going to die. Just so you know.

I have nothing to say.

Today, I'm not going to talk about anything. I'm going to see how long I can go.

Rain.

Never usually gets me down, but today is different. I'm cold, my house is empty, and there's nothing to do. The contrast from the last few days is starting to get me. I'm too worried about my downloads running low to do anything on Youtube, I-View is currently empty (I just watched eight episodes of Storm Hawks in a row) and I'm a little too lazy to plug my X-Box in, so that's out. (I know that's a bad excuse, but I'd have to work out which plug to take out, find mine, put it in, find the batteries... it'd be messy.)

I could read Skulduggery Pleasant, something I've waited a year to do, but either they've both gone missing, or I left them at Ellie's house. If Ellie has somehow deigned to descend into the realm of Blogspot, 'I want my books!' Unless you don't have them, in which case my sisters have taken them again. Typical.

The cuts on my arm are healing weirdly. Oh, and I have an army now, and so far it's been immensely enjoyable. I'm thinking... Lugers.

Still, at least it's not a Sunday. I hate Sundays.

Scratches.

You, Immogen, are truely a marvel. Only you, I am sure, could cause more damage than a bitey crack-head (Ha! Kelsey...) with nothing more than a pair of fake nails and a sexist joke. That's not even the whole thing. That's just two of the six scratches, but my camera ran out of power too soon, so this is it.

I'd like to say I learnt my lesson, but really I just look forward to doing it all again. Also, isn't it ironic that a St. Johns person could cause such an injury?

That, dear Ellie, is the definition of ironic. And not whatever that argument was about at 2:12 AM. Also, I hated the Doctor Who Christmas Specials! And the DeathNote anime! And I'm glad Edgar's dead, because it's important!

In fact, you know what? FUCK AVATAR! Next up: Why Edgar Vargas is dead, and how this is relevant to the plot of Jthm.


...



...




'WHY MY PIGGY?! WHY?! I LOVEDED YOU PIGGY! I LOVEDED YOUUUUU!!'

Spikes

No-one ever touches my mother-fucking hair again. Understand? This didn't even work. After two hours and the worst pain I've ever endured, I ended up having to wash it and go curly anyway.

Not that I had an issue with that.

Drugs.

You know what? Kesley, honey, you can take those anti-inflammatory's as long as you want. That was awesome. The one person, the ONE person, out of everyone at school, that I'd never expect to see high is you. That terrifying grin and sudden and shocking lack of co-ordination will stay with me till the day I die. Also, sorry about the hair thing, Amelia.

Moving on...

Today, I had a light-saber fight at the back of a bus, A PUBLIC BUS, with Louis. A year 9. John had to stop me halfway through and go 'Er... Thomas? Your graduating at the end of the year.' That was embarrassing. Didn't stop me from having a gunfight with all the Glenunga students on the bus. Take that, Year 9's!

SO sad...

Next, I am preparing a small, temporary duck tattoo for Saturday. I'm going to do that now.

The League Of Gentlemen

Great show. I think the reason it's so funny, is because some of the characters are genuinely terrifying. It's not like Jthm, that's a black comedy. TLOG isn't. It's brilliant comedy... with some fucking scary scenes and characters. The tension gets so great sometimes, you just want to go back to one of the lighter scenes, just so you can get rid of that tension.

It's comedy, but it's serious.

Edward and Tubbs are creepy. I never wish to see a women breastfeed a pig again.
And the Farmer, he's creepy too.
And the cannibal butcher, who keeps trying to get people to eat his... 'wares'.

I just saw the one with 'The Beast Of Roston Vasey'. Three animals, cut up and sewn together, crucified and buried, and dug up by some workers in the middle of a thunderstorm. Creepy.


There. I said something nice. Now I'll stop.

The Truth

Tonight, I told a family member the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I'd never done this before. Not ever.


I've written the words 'TRUST HER!' on my arm, in case I forget. That is all the internet gets out of me. Back to my lies and schemes and plans and subterfuge.

Please listen to this song. It made me head-bang for three minutes straight. Which is also something I've never done before. You know you want to hear this song.

It's not misogyny!

I just hate fangirls! Let's be clear...

Checklist.

• Whole tub of Manga hair-gel.

• Red socks.

• Safety pins.

• Louis' skull-candy headphones.

• Vacuum cleaner (for spikes).

• Belt? I'd like a better belt. Something with studs.
  

So. Avatar.

I'll never know why that films so popular. It's now my next target.

No-one likes stuff. It's true.

Ask anyone.

Also, if someone tells me something they liked about the 80's again, I'll kill them. Amelia only got away with it because she's small, and we were in a public place, and I was tired.

Why I'm not a sadist.

I saw Avatar, and I told someone that my favourite part was the bit where the tree explodes. Actually... that was the only bit I liked. But anyway, they took it kind of badly, and thought I meant that for sadistic reasons. I think that's probably because they have difficulty coming to terms with the fact that it's a fictional story. And it's not the best written one. Anyway...

The reason I enjoyed the explosion, was because of the surround sound and the special effects, and no other reason. And they won't see this, so this whole thing is kind of pointless, but I'm doing it anyway.

I think you're the only one watching, Rob...

HI, ROB!!!

Right, then. The 80's.

I think my real problem with the 80's, is people's fascination with them. I mean, nothing good really happened, did it? In the sixties, free love got huge, and people realised that they were allowed to be happy. For the first time, there was no war, no death, and work for everyone. So what did this new generation of young people do? They bought stuff. Lovely, expensive stuff. Or alternatively, they didn't. They just grew there hair, and sat in circles on the grass. Whatever, it's all groovy, yeah?

"If you're bored between now and then, I just suggest you grow your hair, discover the avocado, and fornicate."

And then, just before the 70's, there was another war. And for the first time, people sat up and said, 'Hold on, what are we fighting over? Hey! HEY, WHAT ARE WE FIGHTING OVER?' And suddenly, everything went away. The governments realised that young people weren't just stupid, dirty hippies. They were educated dirty hippies. And if we didn't want a war, we were going to do all we damn well could to stop it.

Now, run these images through your minds. Feminism, for starters. Second-wave feminism, to be precise. Women fighting for their rights for the first time since the turn of the century, and succeeding.
The Mods, at the beginning of the 60's, spending there money on expensive suits and custom scooters, rejecting the alcoholism of there parents (and sometimes even older siblings,) in an attempt to reach a higher state of conciousness.
The struggle for equal rights for African Americans, from 1961 and the Freedom Riders, to the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. in 1968.

Now. The 80's. The Thatcher years. She began well, by removing the degree of control her government had over the economy. Yeah, that's sounds like a great idea. The last time someone tried that was, oh, I don't know, the late 1920's? I must say, the only serious ramifications I can think of would be, say... The Great Depression?
Unemployment soared. In January, 1982, unemployment was in excess of 3,000,000 for the first time since the 1930s.
Good thinking there, Madge. Really glad you're looking out for Britain.

The North-Ireland hunger-strikes. Those poor guys just can't get a break, can they?

The Falklands War. My favourite part of this car-crash.
Two fully developed, 'totally civilized' nations (Ha!) bomb the shit out of each other over three piddling little islands in the South Atlantic. 907 dead, 1845 wounded. 16 marine vehicles lost, 150 aircraft lost. Well done, Britain and Argentina. You've made yourselves feel big.

And then... we hit the AIDS epidemic. Lovely.

'What's going on? What do we do now? "Don't fuck anybody or you die! Never mind, here comes MC Hammer." '

I'm not even sure I want to talk about this one. Let's just say that it was very sad for everyone involved, including the gays. Because they, it seems, were blamed for the whole thing. Theories about the origins of the disease included 'anal sex' and 'swallowing to much semen.' Do you like the 80's? Well, then you hate gay people. (In a "You're killing the rainforest" sense. You don't really. Well, you might.)



Now, let's do popular culture. There's lots of fodder here.
New Wave. Look... I don't have an issue with guys being gay. Live and let live, whatever.
But I DO have an issue with guys wearing make-up with a suit and tie. Because they don't go together, I mean. I like suits and ties. Except for when they glitter.
On the subject of ties, why do they all need to be so thin? I mean, most of them were fine, but I've seen, and still see, some that are just ribbons. Just... just ribbons. Why not were a scarf? A nice cravat, or something?

Ravers. Guh. Yeah, because Mods weren't already stuffing themselves full with too many amphetamines. Waste of space as of yet, as they wouldn't even start to get the music right for another ten years or so.
Speaking of Mods, some Californians decided they were going to revive them. Think of the American 'Life On Mars'. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Also, have you seen 'Ashes To Ashes'? It's set in the 80's, and it's not as good. Coincidence? Perhaps. Perhaps... not...

Surfies? Poor young men. No longer the 70's, not yet the 90's. Nothing for them here. Let's not speak of them again.

The fashion. Shoulderpads. Spandex. Rainbow leg-warmers. Mullets on EVERYONE. Suede. Guh, suede. If I get one comment saying 'Hey, man, what are you talking about, I love leg warmers' I'll hit you in the mouth. I'm not even joking. Ask Mr. Darcy.



I'm not even joking.



And why was it necessary to beat the synthesiser to death? Most of the music in the 80's was terrible. If you look at your favourite bands, the 80's were probably a low point. Almost definitely. That's another thing people have been saying to me. 'Hey, man, what about the music? The music was great!' The music was bollocks, and you know it. Only one person's been able to give me a good example of a song from the 80's, and that was just because he spammed me with songs, and even then his song was far from mainstream.

Creativity just went out the window in the 80's. There was so much less musical freedom, because everyone was trying to hard to be free.

I'm going to finish this soon, and when I do, I don't want comments full of people saying 'Oh, no way, you've totally got it wrong!' I just spent two weeks writing nearly a thousand words. I've done my research. Have you?



Rant over. Now shut the hell up, and leave me alone.

I chose.

And I chose punk, for some reason. No guns, no suits, no ties, but also:

• Tartan.

• Leather Jacket.

• No Mascara.

• Less-shit music.

• Not politically ignorant. (I'm looking at you, ravers!)

• NO. FUCKING. THATCHER. (I hate her. I've never worked out why, but I do.)

(Maybe it's because she's such a bitch...)

Souls.

Alura Une. God, I hate that fucking bitch! I've spent nearly a day trying to get her soul, and she's just not interested. I got the Arc Demon after two tries, and the Big Golem after four. How have I spent nearly 24 hours trying to beat the soul/shit out of a naked chick in a flower?

How does that even work?

Still, I've gone further for a soul. I restarted the game for a third time to get the Legion soul. Who knew you had to kill all the pieces around the tiny cage first?

I'll rant about the 80's soon. Right after I go shopping for some Ray-bans, a black t-shirt, and a handgun. A fake one, obviously. And I can't shave, because then I might not be able to fashion it into something resembling actual designer-stubble, and not just stubble.

Bunch of choices.

I can go as an 80's gamer, I can go as a New-Wave geek, I can go as someone from Miami Vice, or I can go as the lead-singer from The Cure.

It's a tough desicion. But the fact that anyone would possibly choose to have an 80's party seems shocking to me, because the 80's were shit. They just were.

• You know Margaret Thatcher? 80's.

• The Falklands War? 80's.

• Flock Of Seagulls? 80's.

I could go on, but I have neither the patience, nor the time. I have to try and find some mascara.

But rest assured, I will rant again about the 80's. And it shall be good. Good? Yes, good.

Yaoi

So, ‘-Yaoi is a popular term for female-oriented fictional media that focus on homoerotic or homoromantic male relationships, usually created by female authors.'

So already, I'm lost. But whatever, I suppose that makes sense. There's weirder shit out there, so it's not really that aspect I have an issue with.
But wait a minute... surely the fact that something stranger exists, doesn't mean it's any less strange, right? Yeah. That's what I thought.

'The two participants in a Yaoi relationship are often referred to as seme and uke, literally "attacker" and "receiver".'

Yeah. I know. Bear with me, it gets stranger.

‘The seme is generally older and taller, with a stronger chin, shorter hair, smaller eyes, and a more stereotypically masculine, even "macho". The seme usually pursues the uke. The uke usually has softer, androgynous, feminine features with bigger eyes and a smaller build, and is often physically weaker than the seme. Anal sex-’ (Oh yeah, I went there,) ‘-is a prevalent theme in Yaoi, as nearly all stories feature it in some way.’

But it’s so much more than gay porn, because… ur… okay, I’ve got nothing…

Wait, wait, my favourite bit’s coming up.

‘Sexual intercourse in Yaoi is a way of expressing commitment to a partner, and "apparent violence" in sex is a "measure of passion". When a woman is raped, she is stigmatised by society, but in Yaoi, boys who are loved by their rapists are still "imbued with innocence". Rape fantasy themes have been said to free the protagonist of responsibility in sex, leading to the narrative climax of the story, where "the protagonist takes responsibility for his own sexuality".’

Brilliant. Honestly, I’m grinning right now. Because now feel justified in ignoring fan-girls who rant to me about feminism and the likelihood (or unlikelihood) of a man being sexually assaulted.

I never realised they were disappointed, as opposed to just angry…




I'll take your abuse now. As long as it's coherent.

The Suit

Wait... yes!

Excellent.



You have no idea how
comfortable that jacket is.
And those sunglasses, man.
They feel fantastic
over your face.

I'm not a huge fan of
the tie, though. I think
I'm going to get a red one.

PURPOSE!

I have it! I am here to hunt Campires. The bastards.

I mean, I have no issue with Homosexuality, let alone Metrosexuality. I mean, live and let live, yeah? And I quite like Vampires.

But girly-vampires? AGAINST GOD!!!!!

So, I'm here to hunt down Campires, and expose them for the frauds they are. Starting with Master Cullen himself...

Do I sound like a nutter? I'm not, promise.

So...

I suppose I should come up with some kind of reason for this blog existing. I suppose it's because I found it too difficult to watch images from people I can't be. People I feel I can't compete with, and will never be able to.

For a writer, I really hate text. And thinking that someone taking a photo of themselves, and then running it through a filter and turning themselves blue, and pretending it's art. I took Art CG! Mr Sinclare would kill me if I even tried that, let alone pretended it was art!

And yet, when someone else does it, it's art, and it's better than anything I could ever do. I mean, that's low self-confidence. Low.

So now I'm here. Isn't it nice?

Don't answer that...

Guh.

I don't know. Think up your own intro.

It's nice, this. Being unknown.