I'm submitting my portfolio for Tafe Sa tomorrow. A Game Art course. I hope I've done enough to get in, because I'm honestly not sure what I'm going to do if I don't. I've been using CS3 for 3 years, and animation for 2. I've done everything from photoshopping to 3D-modelling. I am at least competent, if not simply good. But this is a new frontier for me. And I don't know who I'll be judged against, the what is expected of me. No number of pamphlets can prepare me. That's the chilly feeling. The feeling of the unknown, not able to hazard any guesses as to my success.
I think I'll probably remain a little nervous until I know whether or not I got in. You can bet when that envelope turns up, I won't quite be able to open it. Not for a long time. Failure would burn. That's all. Not just because I'd have to get a full time job, and go another year without doing anything. It's because I wasn't quite, quite, good enough.
But you know I'll try again next year. And the year after that. I can't help it. I don't want to give up. I've given up on things in the past. Past-times and subjects and teachers and music and sometimes people. I don't especially care about those things. I do rather care about this. And I'll make it in the end, with or without this course.
But I'd prefer the help.
