I've decided I can probably take a more active role in terms of updating this blog, so I've decided to start recommending flash games you could get away with calling 'arty'. First is Eli Pillonen (a.k.a. '2D Array' on Armor Games) a designer who has suceeded in freaking me the FUCK out.
[link]
That was 'This is a Work of Fiction'. Like Marble Hornets, but in the form of a puzzle game. At any moment, you feel like something could go horribly wrong.
[link]
Fisher-Diver. A game with the single most terrifying final boss battle (if it can even be calle that) I have ever played. Just the gameplay mechanics are interesting; a fishing game where the fish bite back. Although... are they fish? Everything is made up of these abstract lines... it's quite beautiful.
[link]
Viricide. My least favourite of his games, mainly because the final boss is BRUTAL. It took me forty minutes, with all the upgrades.
[link]
A Company of Myself. That one you've probably heard of. It holds a 9/10 rating, which is rare for a game that hasn't bought its way to a 10. Not my favourite, actually, but still very good.
Listen, these games aren't for everyone. But you'll probably get a few very trippy hours out of them, so enjoy. (If you can't work out how to start 'This is a Work of Fiction', I'll help you out.)
Monday, November 21, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
"You had one chance."
It's possible (and I won't lie, this is certainly a miracle of introspection coming from someone like me,) that in matters of the torture-porn genre (by this I mean Saw and Co. not something... considerably more disturbing) I am unable to take the moral high ground.
The thing is, though lovers of physical violence in its purest forms are considered baser, as if removed of their higher mental faculties, it is not unusual for an individual (myself included) to be captivated the idea of emotional torture. Do not confuse what I am saying; I'm not some psychopath (well... anyway, that's another discussion.) I'm simply referring to the nature of drama, the way in which we find ourselves intrigued by the ruthless and systemic deconstruction of the human psyche, creating a series of fictional scenarios in which we strip away what we concieve as the 'illusion' of modern life, and reveal the void; an endless abyss in which nothing can ever be truly safe, nor entirely free.
This happens more than you would think, though perhaps in a more diluted form than the stark vision I presented above. In any case, every facet of drama (at least when it is done well) must show some aspect of this, and it is usually hugely popular. And rightly so. I, for one, am a huge fan of this, and it is never more prevelant then in anime. Some of my favourite anime (and everyones, as I understand it,) contain similar themes, though perhaps Neon Genesis Evangelion is the most notable. I even recently watched a series called Puella Magi Madoka Magica which, presented in the style of a Puella Magi show aimed at young girls (Sailor Moon, Cardcaptors, etc,) quickly reveals itself to be far darker than anyone could expect; a tale of incredible pain, stupendous loss and truly soul-crushing depression and lonliness. I loved every second of it. This is not to say, however, that there is no limit to what an audience can be subjected to (though of course this limit remains entirely subjective.)
The reason I am writing all this, is because tonight I discovered my limit. I was playing something I found reccomended online; a game called 'One Chance'. I presume it's still there.
In this game, over the course of six days, all life on Earth is exterminated by a virus. I won't spoil it for any of you, but I will say that you can only play this game once (you literally only have 'one chance') unless you retool your Flash settings. Anyway, I found the game utterly depressing; so bleak I sometimes wondered why I continued when everything I experienced seemed to make me feel worse. But I struggled through... and was left with a terrible ending, before cheating to go back and one that has a remotely happy ending.
But the thing is... even though I found the experience awful, I certainly learned something about my connection to videogames, and I sort of feel I've benefitted from it as a developer. Nah, as an artist and a writer. (You have to read this, I only hope you agree.)
I guess that's pretty much it.
Stay frosty.
The thing is, though lovers of physical violence in its purest forms are considered baser, as if removed of their higher mental faculties, it is not unusual for an individual (myself included) to be captivated the idea of emotional torture. Do not confuse what I am saying; I'm not some psychopath (well... anyway, that's another discussion.) I'm simply referring to the nature of drama, the way in which we find ourselves intrigued by the ruthless and systemic deconstruction of the human psyche, creating a series of fictional scenarios in which we strip away what we concieve as the 'illusion' of modern life, and reveal the void; an endless abyss in which nothing can ever be truly safe, nor entirely free.
This happens more than you would think, though perhaps in a more diluted form than the stark vision I presented above. In any case, every facet of drama (at least when it is done well) must show some aspect of this, and it is usually hugely popular. And rightly so. I, for one, am a huge fan of this, and it is never more prevelant then in anime. Some of my favourite anime (and everyones, as I understand it,) contain similar themes, though perhaps Neon Genesis Evangelion is the most notable. I even recently watched a series called Puella Magi Madoka Magica which, presented in the style of a Puella Magi show aimed at young girls (Sailor Moon, Cardcaptors, etc,) quickly reveals itself to be far darker than anyone could expect; a tale of incredible pain, stupendous loss and truly soul-crushing depression and lonliness. I loved every second of it. This is not to say, however, that there is no limit to what an audience can be subjected to (though of course this limit remains entirely subjective.)
The reason I am writing all this, is because tonight I discovered my limit. I was playing something I found reccomended online; a game called 'One Chance'. I presume it's still there.
In this game, over the course of six days, all life on Earth is exterminated by a virus. I won't spoil it for any of you, but I will say that you can only play this game once (you literally only have 'one chance') unless you retool your Flash settings. Anyway, I found the game utterly depressing; so bleak I sometimes wondered why I continued when everything I experienced seemed to make me feel worse. But I struggled through... and was left with a terrible ending, before cheating to go back and one that has a remotely happy ending.
But the thing is... even though I found the experience awful, I certainly learned something about my connection to videogames, and I sort of feel I've benefitted from it as a developer. Nah, as an artist and a writer. (You have to read this, I only hope you agree.)
I guess that's pretty much it.
Stay frosty.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Self-pity is endearing, right...?
New layout on the blog, I'm rather happy with it.
Maddie's scared of a few things, which is hard sometimes. She's scared my friends don't like her, but that's just because they don't talk to her much compared to how often her friends talk to her. It's not there, fault, it's mine. I've never been very good at staying in touch with friends, even close ones. I'm really just a very lonely person, naturally, but it's no good for Maddie, so I'll need to start being more sociable.
I think my life right now is sort of... empty. I mean I usually get up, go to Tafe, barely complete what is required of me, catch the same two buses home and go to sleep. It's been two months, and I'm starting to get depressed. I can't keep living like this.
The obvious worry, of course, is that if I spent more time with my friends, they'd realise they don't actually like me. That they can only handle me in small doses. It wouldn't surprise me, to be honest; there's a real difference between seeing someone at school every day, and having them enter your own territory over and over again. I don't want to be that guy. I don't think anyone wants to be that guy. By how do I go about it? Intergrating myself into other people's lives to a greater (to an actually significant) degree? These questions and more... coming to a bookstore near you soon.
Stay frosty.
Maddie's scared of a few things, which is hard sometimes. She's scared my friends don't like her, but that's just because they don't talk to her much compared to how often her friends talk to her. It's not there, fault, it's mine. I've never been very good at staying in touch with friends, even close ones. I'm really just a very lonely person, naturally, but it's no good for Maddie, so I'll need to start being more sociable.
I think my life right now is sort of... empty. I mean I usually get up, go to Tafe, barely complete what is required of me, catch the same two buses home and go to sleep. It's been two months, and I'm starting to get depressed. I can't keep living like this.
The obvious worry, of course, is that if I spent more time with my friends, they'd realise they don't actually like me. That they can only handle me in small doses. It wouldn't surprise me, to be honest; there's a real difference between seeing someone at school every day, and having them enter your own territory over and over again. I don't want to be that guy. I don't think anyone wants to be that guy. By how do I go about it? Intergrating myself into other people's lives to a greater (to an actually significant) degree? These questions and more... coming to a bookstore near you soon.
Stay frosty.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Well then.
I'm not even going to pretend I know how long it's been. I'm not 100% anyone will ever read any of this, so perhaps it's not important. In any case, I decided it would be best to get back to this sort of thing; not writing for anyone but myself, without the restrictions posed by an existing facade to maintain. For the moment, at least, I am free in this place. But literary posturing aside.
A great number of things are going to take place tomorrow. To begin with, my girlfriend is going to be visiting my home for the first time, and meeting my family. It will be wonderful to see her again. I have rather missed her. Unfortunately, I'm forced to keep a rather ridiculous face of stubble, which is what leads me to my event:
Tomorrow is the second Voyage of the Olympia. You may remember (if you do, in fact, exist) that I filmed this Maiden Voyage (with Adam Slobodian) for our documentary on Steampunk in 2010. I met a number of individuals who I found hugely inspiring; both in my attempts to create various forms of steampunk media (from costumes and weapons, so a number of graphic novel scripts,) but also in the manner in which I approach my writing; I do not plan to write conventional media, so I cannot allow myself to act in the manner of a conventional writer. I must polarise my metaphorical aim, so that the things I focus on most are setting (huge, all-encompassing and awe-inspiring) and my dialogue; as sharp and natural as possible. Under no circumstances should my characters talk in the same manner as myself, if they do I have failed.
But tomorrow. It will be the first time I have participated in a steampunk event myself, as will it be Maddie's. I must go over my character notes again, make sure I memorise everything. Nothing should be left to chance.
I do hope it will not be too hot.
Goodnight, I suppose.
A great number of things are going to take place tomorrow. To begin with, my girlfriend is going to be visiting my home for the first time, and meeting my family. It will be wonderful to see her again. I have rather missed her. Unfortunately, I'm forced to keep a rather ridiculous face of stubble, which is what leads me to my event:
Tomorrow is the second Voyage of the Olympia. You may remember (if you do, in fact, exist) that I filmed this Maiden Voyage (with Adam Slobodian) for our documentary on Steampunk in 2010. I met a number of individuals who I found hugely inspiring; both in my attempts to create various forms of steampunk media (from costumes and weapons, so a number of graphic novel scripts,) but also in the manner in which I approach my writing; I do not plan to write conventional media, so I cannot allow myself to act in the manner of a conventional writer. I must polarise my metaphorical aim, so that the things I focus on most are setting (huge, all-encompassing and awe-inspiring) and my dialogue; as sharp and natural as possible. Under no circumstances should my characters talk in the same manner as myself, if they do I have failed.
But tomorrow. It will be the first time I have participated in a steampunk event myself, as will it be Maddie's. I must go over my character notes again, make sure I memorise everything. Nothing should be left to chance.
I do hope it will not be too hot.
Goodnight, I suppose.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
That chilly feeling.
I'm submitting my portfolio for Tafe Sa tomorrow. A Game Art course. I hope I've done enough to get in, because I'm honestly not sure what I'm going to do if I don't. I've been using CS3 for 3 years, and animation for 2. I've done everything from photoshopping to 3D-modelling. I am at least competent, if not simply good. But this is a new frontier for me. And I don't know who I'll be judged against, the what is expected of me. No number of pamphlets can prepare me. That's the chilly feeling. The feeling of the unknown, not able to hazard any guesses as to my success.
I think I'll probably remain a little nervous until I know whether or not I got in. You can bet when that envelope turns up, I won't quite be able to open it. Not for a long time. Failure would burn. That's all. Not just because I'd have to get a full time job, and go another year without doing anything. It's because I wasn't quite, quite, good enough.
But you know I'll try again next year. And the year after that. I can't help it. I don't want to give up. I've given up on things in the past. Past-times and subjects and teachers and music and sometimes people. I don't especially care about those things. I do rather care about this. And I'll make it in the end, with or without this course.
But I'd prefer the help.
I think I'll probably remain a little nervous until I know whether or not I got in. You can bet when that envelope turns up, I won't quite be able to open it. Not for a long time. Failure would burn. That's all. Not just because I'd have to get a full time job, and go another year without doing anything. It's because I wasn't quite, quite, good enough.
But you know I'll try again next year. And the year after that. I can't help it. I don't want to give up. I've given up on things in the past. Past-times and subjects and teachers and music and sometimes people. I don't especially care about those things. I do rather care about this. And I'll make it in the end, with or without this course.
But I'd prefer the help.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Why do I have a blog? Seriously, though? (That will not be the topic of this post.)
Maddie's gone.
...
Okay, that sounded really bad. Actually, she's gone to her grandparents for a week, and I'm without any way of communicating with her. And for the first time in almost a year, I am once again... totally alone. I know. I'm an emo bitch.
But let's get one thing straight. I can't concentrate without her. I won't concentrate without her. I'm reliant on videogames to get through the day. I mean, what the fuck? How does something like that-
I just got a text from her. One second. (This is some real-time shit.)
"Love you, babe."
Now, may I just say...
AAAAAWWW-Yeah, I'm totally fucked.
Okay, so this is supposed to be about me, not her.
See, I'm about to find out what kind of person I am. An ex maybe-or-may-not be in some emotional turmoil, and now I'm having to question my own relationship with her (not a good one) and wondering whether, now she may (MAY) be experiencing some pains I'd find strangely familiar, is it time to forgive and forget? Or just an opportunity for an "I told you so" and another twist of the knife (which, by the way, is something I have yet to try my hand at, despite my feelings towards her.)
So, where do I go from here? Well, no doubt circumstances will push us together (geographically) sooner or later, and when the time comes, I'm going to have to make a decision I can be proud of. Because she's too close to this and, frankly, so is Maddie. I am the only person who can make this desicion.
(HELP!)
Remember when I said this would be about me? Yeah?
Fuck you, internet. (Have a nice day.)
...
Okay, that sounded really bad. Actually, she's gone to her grandparents for a week, and I'm without any way of communicating with her. And for the first time in almost a year, I am once again... totally alone. I know. I'm an emo bitch.
But let's get one thing straight. I can't concentrate without her. I won't concentrate without her. I'm reliant on videogames to get through the day. I mean, what the fuck? How does something like that-
I just got a text from her. One second. (This is some real-time shit.)
"Love you, babe."
Now, may I just say...
AAAAAWWW-Yeah, I'm totally fucked.
Okay, so this is supposed to be about me, not her.
See, I'm about to find out what kind of person I am. An ex maybe-or-may-not be in some emotional turmoil, and now I'm having to question my own relationship with her (not a good one) and wondering whether, now she may (MAY) be experiencing some pains I'd find strangely familiar, is it time to forgive and forget? Or just an opportunity for an "I told you so" and another twist of the knife (which, by the way, is something I have yet to try my hand at, despite my feelings towards her.)
So, where do I go from here? Well, no doubt circumstances will push us together (geographically) sooner or later, and when the time comes, I'm going to have to make a decision I can be proud of. Because she's too close to this and, frankly, so is Maddie. I am the only person who can make this desicion.
(HELP!)
Remember when I said this would be about me? Yeah?
Fuck you, internet. (Have a nice day.)
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