So, now I'm back again. I know I never do this, but I think I've neglected this blog for long enough.

Obvious stuff out of the way first. I love Maddie even more than the last time I wrote here, and she's gone a very, very long way to fixing me. I'm not sure where I'd be without her, but I imagine that in my attempts to escape the nature of my life, I'd have either succumbed to what, for the purposes of this argument, I will call 'ignorance', or I would have become homicidal. And I'd prefer to end my life in the same way as the last Thomas Hamilton. (That guy has an awful lot to answer for.)
He is (here's an interesting little note about me) probably the major reason I won't became and Arms Manufacturer/Dealer. I'm sure I could talk away all my little doubts about ethics and the nature of morality and pacifism; and I certainly seem to have both the skills, and the imagination, but I just don't want to design the firearm used in the next 'largest killing of British schoolchildren in history'. It doesn't matter if someone else does it instead of me. It won't be my bloody gun that does it.
Thus... career in videogames. Hopefully. I managed to get my hands on the Satac guides today, and the course I want to do at TAFE is right there. No SACE certificate needed. (Not that there's anyway I'm not going to get it.) But I need a portfolio. Which could take a few years.
I've been told I should look at university courses, and apply for a whole bunch of them, in case I don't get into TAFE, but... I know I'm not getting into TAFE next year. I don't want to. I'm unemployed, broke, and sixteen. I'm going to be spending the next year developing the portfolio I need anyway, and I don't think that applying for a series of university courses there is no way on earth I will actually take is a great idea. Actually, I think it's a huge, fucking waste of time, but there you go.
I think I'm glad I waited so long to post here again, actually. I know only one person will get notified about this. Hello, mysterious follower! I don't know who you are, but you if you decided to follow this blog, you're either incredibly nice, or maddeningly angry. Either way, I suppose you must be confused about some of the posts I've been placing up. And how they tend to... vary... in tone, topic, and coherence. I'm sure there's an explanation for that. Maybe if I find it, I'll tell you.
I suppose some other people might see this, but I can't see it happening. Maddie would probably look, but I don't think she'll remember I have a blog. No-one ever does. They did at one point, but that freaked me out to the point where I started to stare, shocked, at people when they told me they'd not only read it, but bookmarked it, in case they had the urge to return.

Now, I think, I'm ready to progress to something I'm just begining to realise. Life isn't hard. But it gives you a bitch of a headache.


More to come. As ever.